Schizoid Personality Disorder
I was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD) when I was 15 years old. I suddenly started staying in my room for long periods of time and stopped hanging out with friends. After a few personal incidents my mom took me to one of those fancy psychiatrists for testing. It lasted several hours and involved ink blots, pictures and an IQ test. All of the ink blots looked like a butterfly to me. Wonder what that means!
Out of my three diagnoses, SPD is the one that I hate the most. It interferes with my life daily and there are no pills that can fix it. It is a chronic condition without the prospect of getting better.¹
I have few relationships and often break relationships that are getting to needy. I like doing things by myself, often staying up until 4 am or later in the morning. The longer I have the disorder, the worse I get at filtering the words that come of my mouth. I seem cold & mean when speak to people, offending people without intent.
My imagination is incredible. Because of my lack of relationships I have created an elaborate fantasy world in my head. Or is it because of my fantasies, I have no relationships. Lets explore that…
